Ian Died

Last week my father in law died. It was sudden, although not entirely unexpected. He had had a bad stroke nearly four years ago and had been gradually going downhill ever since.

I always found him slightly intimidating. But as I read the cards and listened to the stories, I realized this man was a great man, and I had missed out on getting to know him better. I had never asked the right questions about his community group involvements, his passions. I hadn't quite know how to. And I am so much the poorer for that.

On the day of his funeral I read a Tui ad which said, I know an interesting accountant. Yeah right! - My father in law was a really interesting accountant, who at the age of 37 was given a 20year service to swimming and life saving award. And that was just the start. He spent 20 years with IHC. He changed peoples lives through his support of them, his mentoring people to run business ventures for community groups, his fund raising nous. I wish I had got to know how interesting he was while I could.

So, what did I learn, that I need to not be intimidated, take a deep breath, and learn to ask the right questions, so that I can meet the great people while they are alive, and not hear about them at their funeral.

Comments

Peter Carrell said…
Hi John and Bonnie
Condolences on learning this news ...
With warm regards
Peter
Paul Fromont said…
Hi Bonnie, John and Family.

Belated condolences to you all.

John, I remember a scene in the movie adaptation of "Tuesday's with Morrie" where he has his funeral before he dies, so that he can listen in; and presumably so that it opens up space for people to engage him, his story, and his memories before he actually dies... Perhaps too, a little chance to "turn back time" as Mike and the Mechanics sung a few years back.

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