Thoughts about Taize

Here are some random and initial thoughts about my time in Taize

The sense of welcome and coming home I felt even as I arrived and saw Casa there, and the welcome signs. There was so much still uncertain, and yet, I felt welcome and at home. At peace I think I would call it. It was just so good to be here.
And then going to night prayer at 8.30, having rushed down some very welcome simple dinner, and first breathing in the sights and the sound of the singing, being embraced by that, and almost floating in that, and then looking up straight ahead to Brother Alois, the new Prior sitting only meters away, and realising that only 3 ½ weeks earlier, in this most sacred place, in this service of worship that is so soaked with the presence of God and the sense of God’s peace, Brother Roger was murdered, there, only meters in front of me, and in front of all these brothers, gathered peacefully, and in front of all those young people, gathered for prayer at the beginning of their week searching with God.
Everything took on new meaning for me then, Each song, the scripture reading, the response, the silence, each seemed a testimony to both Brother Rogers life, and the communities ongoing struggle to both celebrate that and grieve its ending.

My physical shift in the worship from sitting on the side, and facing across the church, to sitting on the floor, and facing not people, but the icons, the candles, the crucified one, there in front of me. That has been a profound shift, and one that I am glad to have been brave enough to make. I have sat around the church, facing different icons and being with different people. It has been amazing.
The night prayer has been most profound for me. It ends with the crucified Christ being brought out to the centre of the church, and young people (and others) coming to sit at his feet, and to be shaped, moved, whatever by that. I have been deeply affected by this. It has been great to meditate and contemplate in this way, from off to the side slightly. My hunch is that that music and that experience will keep haunting me and shaping me over the weeks and months ahead. But I will also need to attend to it, and be more deliberate with my prayer life, for that work to continue.

A theme if you like for me over recent times has been the story of Francis and the Leper. It has nagged at me and kept coming up. In Assisi I walked back from San Maria Maggiore so that I could be somewhere near where he encountered the leper for the first time, and discovered Christ in those he most feared and loathed. It is like I am being called to be and do likewise. Not an easy thing really. Easier to type here than to do or even want to do really. When the groups formed, I was part of a group that looked like it would be great fun. But one of our member decided we were too big, and negotiated we split with another group, and I felt obliged to go to make it work, because no-one else was moving. I almost immediately regretted it, but have learnt to love each of the people there, and to catch glimmers of Christ in them. Just glimmers. I am now glad I moved. It might have been more fun and easier in the other group, but this had been more enriching. I have a long way to go, but have made some little little strides.
What has intrigued me and what has irritated me and what has blessed me is the smallness of most of the others world view. Some always answer with a very nice story or answer that is about them and their church. I wish I could answer like that. My answers are always so big, about the whole church or denomination or church in that province, or the world or whatever. Bigger scale and therefore more troubled. But that is our different gifts. They see the small, particular, I see the macro. We need both, to hear both, to appreciate both. I have learnt to do that to some degree.
What I have enjoyed is the range of people, from retired couple from England, to retired occupational psychologist from Sweden, to teacher from Portugal (who is just over 30), to Christian Psychologist from Northern Germany, to OFM Cap brother from Portugal, who works in Angola, to a teacher from Italy and a volunteer worker from Romania.

I have greatly enjoyed Brother Wolfgang’s talks each day as he has led us gently in Acts. He speaks to us in English, French and German, which is either very difficult to follow, (I know I have missed bits when I realise he has finished in German and has been speaking in English with his German accent for awhile) but it has also been really nice ot have the break to write notes in and keep up. I have not always done well, (I fell asleep yesterday) but have enjoyed it. What I have really enjoyed is the way he has linked the story he is talking about with other stories in scripture, both the Ancient Testament (as he calls it) and the New Testament. In my own preaching I feel the need to do likewise. It is so helpful. And I do enjoy the gentle way the brothers introduce us to the God who so profoundly loves us in a way that those who are theologically trained grow, and those who have profound questions grow.
Yesterday and today he has talked about Cornelius and Peter. Several things have struck me in his talk.
· That the visions come in two. Cornelius and Peter. Both sides! That gives me hope in a world and in a church so divided, that on each side there are angles come to people and/or they are receiving visions that will put them offside with the rest of their ilk, but will move the situation to one of peace. Israel and Palestine, Iraq, Northern Ireland, Afghanistan, Sudan, the Anglican Communion, Maori and Pakeha in New Zealand. I feel so much less despondent. God is at work.
· The link between Peter’s vision and Jesus’ request to wash Peter’s feet before the last supper. Both times Peter said “Never Lord” and both times Jesus replied that it needed to happen for Peter to be with Jesus. What really struck me was that the washing of the feet was not just an historical event. It is an ongoing event. Jesus not only asked the disciples to wash their feet, but he says to me “I must wash your feet”. Wow! What do I do with that, and what does that do to how I live my life? As Wolfgang said to me later, “…and then you are to go and wash others feet. That is how we live.” That is part of the reconciliation and peace that the angels/visions bring above. Maybe the Taize community are the angels of our world, in which people from all nations, denominations, theologies come and see a vision fro what might be, and are changed by that like Peter and Cornelius?

Lastly I must comment about the food. It is not a lot, but it is enough. I suspect and hope I have lost weight, but maybe not. Coffee has been a struggle, with hot water only being available once a day at brekky, but I have managed my way around that. I have enjoyed being hungry (except at the end of brekky and during midday prayer.) I wish I was better at eating like this at home.
Well that is enough. This has so far been a profound time and place. I do wish I could come here more than once very 12 years. Maybe I can. I would love to bring Kate and Michael here. I would love to bring NZ young people here. Maybe, maybe!

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