Headship
I just had a really interesting conversation (in spiritual direction) about headship. Basically, someone is coming to see me to sort out were he stands in a safe environment. I get to listen and ask questions to help him. The topic today was headship in the family.
We came to a point of describing headship as the responsibility (of the man) the ensure the relationships within the family and especially with the wife are such that they communicate well, love each other, and make decisions for the best of all the family. (My words completely) Part of this is honouring how God speaks through the other, and not just thinking that the head is the only one God speaks through. In essence it is about love. We both marvelled that Ephesians is used to justify appalling abuse of women and children by "good" God fearing men.
In the end this was about leadership. What is leadership and how do we as leaders exercise it. Too often in my view leaders think they have the answers, make decisions for others, and carry out those decisions with very little consultation. This is deemed easier by some, more efficient by others, and more Godly by yet another group. In fact leadership in this way is none of the above. All you get is a pile of bad decisions, with people unwilling to back them when the going gets tough, and God's voice through others is ignored.
I talked with a friend this morning. His vicar is introducing some major changes, which some are not happy with. But at least the vicar has parish meetings to discuss and decide some of these changes. God's voice is given a chance to be heard. People can voice their objections, and to some degree be heard. This might take longer, but the decisions will be less destructive of people, and more likely to outlast the vicar.
So, as leaders, we have a responsibility to create an environment where people are valued, honoured and loved, where God voice is heard through them, and where we can collectively decide on future direction. I see so little of that. And my experience of being in a family is that that is not so easy. But it is what I aspire to anyway.
May God be with us on this journey
We came to a point of describing headship as the responsibility (of the man) the ensure the relationships within the family and especially with the wife are such that they communicate well, love each other, and make decisions for the best of all the family. (My words completely) Part of this is honouring how God speaks through the other, and not just thinking that the head is the only one God speaks through. In essence it is about love. We both marvelled that Ephesians is used to justify appalling abuse of women and children by "good" God fearing men.
In the end this was about leadership. What is leadership and how do we as leaders exercise it. Too often in my view leaders think they have the answers, make decisions for others, and carry out those decisions with very little consultation. This is deemed easier by some, more efficient by others, and more Godly by yet another group. In fact leadership in this way is none of the above. All you get is a pile of bad decisions, with people unwilling to back them when the going gets tough, and God's voice through others is ignored.
I talked with a friend this morning. His vicar is introducing some major changes, which some are not happy with. But at least the vicar has parish meetings to discuss and decide some of these changes. God's voice is given a chance to be heard. People can voice their objections, and to some degree be heard. This might take longer, but the decisions will be less destructive of people, and more likely to outlast the vicar.
So, as leaders, we have a responsibility to create an environment where people are valued, honoured and loved, where God voice is heard through them, and where we can collectively decide on future direction. I see so little of that. And my experience of being in a family is that that is not so easy. But it is what I aspire to anyway.
May God be with us on this journey
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